When Prince Charming

With swag disarming

Got near the enchanted castle;

 

Oh no, oh hell!

Where’s the bombshell?

The girl he saw had ‘muscle’!

 

He’d, in his mind,

Pictured his find:

A pretty if revealing frock;

 

A face to launch ships

Fair to the fingertips…

The fellow got a nasty shock.

 

She was very much awake –

Was the promise a fake?

The promise of a sleeping one?

 

And beauty? Oh dear!

A cold, creeping fear

To clutch his heart had begun.

 

Shorts and shirt,

Smeared with dirt;

Skin of coffee bean colour;

 

Not even supine;

She looked quite fine;

He felt hot under the collar.

 

Size zero? Not she.

Manner: dreadfully free

Tall of height, short-cropped hair;

 

Didn’t swoon or gasp,

But tightening her grasp

On a stick, she gave him a glare.

 

Then he got it, phew!

“Not the princess, are you?”

He asked with hope and relief;

 

What ensued then

Isn’t flattering to men

So I’ll keep the story but brief.

 

Overstate they may,

But people do say

The prince didn’t fare very well;

 

Believe it or not,

When the chase turned hot,

He was said to have fled pell-mell.

 

The Princess, we gather –

For it was her, none other –

Advised in a calm, grave manner;

 

To go on his way

As ‘twas clear as day

That he needed more saving than her.

 

But when he took offence

And as a weak defence

Cited her womanly duty;

 

She hit him where it hurt;

His tears did start

“Oh, you ain’t no sleeping beauty!

 

“Mend your ways;

Don’t waste your days.

You need a man to tell you how to live.”

 

How she answered then

Is too outrageous to pen

‘Twas very like a woman, I believe.

 

Such is the tale

Of the forbidding female

Most unbeautiful, non-charming;

 

Details, if you must:

She was free, brave and just;

Altogether really alarming.

 

So if you have a plan

To save a Hapless Woman

You know where you should not go;

 

The Disenchanted Land

Where the prince was beaten and –

Fatally punctured his ego.

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Image: pixabay

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