Lower your voice and widen your eyes;
Punctuate your words with gasps and sighs;
Throw furtive glances behind your back—
If you do it well, you may have a knack.
Giggle in glee every other sentence;
You’ve shocked and you’ve thrilled your eager audience.
A dash of colour here, gory details there;
God forbid that you’d ever be unfair.
Today’s best friend may be tomorrow’s subject,
It’s a story well-told, so who would object?
I can see you can’t wait; to share you’re itching;
Let’s bring it on, then, start the day with ________.