Ode to a Universal Phenomenon

Lower your voice and widen your eyes;

Punctuate your words with gasps and sighs;

Throw furtive glances behind your back—

If you do it well, you may have a knack.

Giggle in glee every other sentence;

You’ve shocked and you’ve thrilled your eager audience.

A dash of colour here, gory details there;

God forbid that you’d ever be unfair.

Today’s best friend may be tomorrow’s subject,

It’s a story well-told, so who would object?

I can see you can’t wait; to share you’re itching;

Let’s bring it on, then, start the day with ________.